A dear friend of mine hired a cleaning lady during the time she was completing her master’s degree. I was a bit shocked that she would spend the money on something that she could easily find time to complete. Fresh out of college with little personal/family commitment outside of my full time job, I just did not get it. That was then and this is now. As I finish up week 9 of my course with many more personal/family/work commitments that I could ever imagine, I am ready to hire that cleaning lady! Along with a chef, nanny, dry cleaner and chauffeur!! To be truly honest, the course increasingly got harder and harder as the weeks passed. I have to complete a topic paper, discussions posts, group project and presentation as well as team paper. I’m stressed a bit but I step back and think, I will be done with a master’s course at Brandeis in less than a week. I would have accomplished something that not all people can say they have accomplished. As I said before…I can do this, I’m sure of it!
It’s been a while but what can I say? I’ve been busy. I am wrapping up week 7 of my course and it is hard to believe that there are less than 3 full weeks of coursework left. There are many hurdles I have to overcome in between birthday parties, holidays, work events but I’ll get there. I keep repeating to myself “I’m almost done”, “I’m almost done”, “I’m almost done”. I’m nervous about my grade between the remaining papers I have left to submit and my group project but these sleepless nights will be worth it…I’m sure of it. I may have said this in past weeks but I can actually take what I’m learning and directly contribute it what I do at work. I’m still surprised at how I am making these connections as I didn’t have it this evident in my first master’s degree program. Look at me being all optimistic and stuff. I am actually enjoying this class despite some bumps and bruises these past 7 weeks. Let’s see if I’m still optimistic when my final grade is received!
My husband made a comment the other day that I am working really hard at my course for not getting a degree. Little does he know that I haven’t quite ruled that out yet (sshhh!) and even though I’m not getting a degree, why shouldn’t I work hard? Although I’m not admitted into a program, this course is for “professional development”, that basically means I’m taking the course for my job, so I should work hard! Let me tell you, I have no choice I HAVE to work hard with this course. I spend most of my weeknights reading and posting and now that we started group work, I’m meeting virtually with my team/group weekly. Just the other night, I had to lock myself in my bedroom so my kids wouldn’t accidentally introduce themselves during our meeting. This is tough with other obligations but now with week 4 of the course, I can proudly say I’m almost half way through and finally found a good routine for participating.
Almost done with Week 1 of the course and I’m feeling pretty good. My posts are nowhere near the level of sophistication of that of my peers in the course. Some of the posts are so intricate in detail tying individual experiences to the course materials and readings for the week. I am almost surprised at the level of participation but then again it is Brandeis. Meanwhile, I’m lucky if I can stay awake during my readings. Twice I sat down to read (two different readings, both quite interesting), then I fell asleep. Complete dozed right in my chair! With my kids keeping me up every night this week (not to worry, I generally get a good night’s sleep between 2 and 4 am), weekends full of activities and a full time job – I feel like I have been “pulling an all-nighter” as an undergraduate student, which oddly enough I never had to do as an undergraduate! I’m sure once the kids start sleeping and the activities slow down, I’ll get into a nice momentum of reading, learning, posting…just in time for the course to end.
Registered. Do I have to write more? About a month after I finally said I would register for a course (and 4 blog posts later), I finally registered. It took a mere 5, maybe 10, minutes to complete the task. I took longer contemplating the action than it took to register for the course. I scanned the course online, knowing I’ll be back later after dinner and way after it gets dark to really read the instructor’s posts. I printed the syllabus because hey, even though it’s an online course doesn’t mean I have to go “paperless”. I skimmed it and was glad I printed it because I will be reading that thing all semester long. I’m bit terrified of what I actually have to do and the amount of words I have to actually write. Once I cross the other hurdle and actually post by first post, I’ll be fine…I’m sure, right? Yeah I’ll be fine. Yup, I’m sure of it.
It is now officially 3 weeks before classes begin, 2 weeks before late registration ends and about one week before regular registration ends and I still have NOT registered for my fall course! I figured I would let all the other students that really wanted to take the course get a seat first. I know that is very considerate of me. At this point there are about 5 seats left in the course, if I don’t jump on registering now then my track towards renewing my educational dream (as uncertain as I may be) will be gone. Well that’s being dramatic, what I mean to say is that my goal will just be delayed and I’m sure I’ll be facing this decision again when I receive the message to register for the spring term. So what am I waiting for again? I’ve already settled it that I can do this…then why the delay?? Maybe I’ll ponder that some more before I register after all I do have a few more days!
Ok…first day of registration has arrived! I psyched myself up for registering for a course weeks ago and now the day is finally here to register! Yippeee….I think, maybe, sort of. I think my confidence level dropped over the last couple of weeks. Do I really have the time to take a course this fall? I have to get my son ready for preschool, the holidays will be coming up soon. I thought I was ready but really there is so much to do between work and home, should I really be doing this now?? I could probably come up with a million excuses to not enroll in a course and if I don’t bite the bullet and register, I’m sure I’ll regret in September when everyone has settled in their schedules and I’m left with nothing to focus on for myself, once again. Here does nothing…..I guess….
Ok so here I am, I was told at work that I need to take a course for professional development…really? I already have my master’s degree, I thought I was done with school. Although I did always think that I would be one of those people that was a lifelong student. It has been 10, 11, 12 years maybe since I last took a “real” course. You know what happens, life….marriage, kids, house, etc. etc. all the excuses, I mean, reasons why I haven’t taken any courses since my master’s degree. I must admit this pit in my stomach may be fear or is it excitement? How can I fit a 10-week, 3-graduate credits, minimum 3 posting a week course into my 2 kids (4yr old and 1 yr old), husband, house, full-time job, 2+ hour commute schedule? As I sit hear waiting for fall registration to open, I think the pit in my stomach is excitement and not fear. I’m going to learn again.