by Dvora Goodman
I recently read an article written by a Jewish educator in California about youth groups which argued that parents need to fight the fight to get their kids to go to youth group despite them being overextended with other activities. The article resonated with me based on my experiences working with Jewish high school students.
Last year I began to work one evening a week with the small group of high school students attending the supplementary school at which I once worked full-time, a wonderful school that children really love. I told the director that I would make personal calls to potential new students for this year (new 9th graders) to invite them to come try out the high school group at the school.
The first phone call I made to a parent, whose child I taught years ago, went like this:
Me: “I’m calling to invite Jerry to try out the high school program at the school. We meet once a week on Thursday nights”
Mom: “Thank you for calling – I think that Jerry could be very interested. He really enjoyed his time at the school. But I’m not going to tell him about it. We never see him at home as it is. He is on three different soccer teams”
I felt defeated, and it was only my first phone call. It didn’t get better after that. Most of the responses were something like, “well, my daughter is not sure if she wants to come,” or “you are welcome to speak to her and try and convince her.”
Does this sound familiar to you?
In the Jewish educational world there is always talk about bad supplementary Jewish education, especially beyond elementary school, that is dis-engaging our Jewish children and turning them away from Judaism. There is a call for innovation, for experiential programming, for immersive Jewish experiences like summer camp, and for boosts in day school attendance. But my experience has shown that even in the case of the most engaging supplementary programs, organizations are still struggling to recruit and retain students because they are over extended; pressure for doing well in school in order to get into a good college has reached an all-time high, and teens are just not choosing to attend Jewish educational experiences.
I believe that in order to address the problem at its roots, we need to take a two-pronged approach. Jewish educators need to do their part to continue to make their offerings attractive and the experiences high quality, but parents also need to step up and make Jewish education for their children the highest priority.
As a parent of young children, I know how important it is for me to make decisions for my children in terms of what they should be eating, what they should be learning. Even when all my son wants to eat is sweets, I must enforce healthy eating and say no to the junk.
The same thing, I argue, goes for Jewish education. We can’t leave the choices up to the teens themselves. We also need to send the message to parents of Jewish teens that they need to make Jewish education a non-negotiable activity – the one thing they must do (and they can choose any other activities they wish to pursue).
It is too easy just to admit defeat with the teenagers who are not choosing to come and concentrate on developing our programs for those who are attending. But if we continue like this I think more and more Jewish teens will not be engaged in any sort of Jewish learning experiences during high school, and that should not be something we let happen without a strong enduring fight. I believe that as Jewish educators working in communities, we need to work closely with families and teens to make sure that we provide educational opportunities that fit their busy schedules, and then we need parents to make sure that their children attend. Alternatively, for anyone completely over-extended with school and activities that they feel are absolutely necessary for their neshama, their soul, then we need to convince parents that they need to make sure that instead that their children take part in interesting and engaging Jewish experiences each summer. Which program is their choice. That they participate in one each summer should be non-negotiable.
We can’t let these teens slip away from us. We need to all work together to continue to send out the strong message to parents that Jewish education is a number one priority, and then we can continue with our contribution of providing high quality, engaging Jewish experiences for the teens so that they keep coming back. What will it take to get this message out there…
Dvora Goodman is the director of Genesis at Brandeis University.