THE DEATH OF AN ICON

By L. Schwirian

Prompt: “Chopped” Writing – as in the Food Channel show of the same name; writers use a set of unusual ingredients to create a piece of writing.

In this case, the ingredients were:

3 Objects: a bugle, a pair of scissors, a dying plant                                                2 People: a police officer and a fairly deaf patron                                                1 Place: the library

*

Alice Whitehead was a librarian for over 50 years. She started when still in high school, then went to college to earn a degree in Library Science, and was anointed chief librarian after graduation. Married to her high school sweetheart Rolf, a police officer, she raised three sons…all of whom spent time with her in the library after school. By the time they graduated, each had read practically every book the library had to offer.

She loved her books and her work, and she always looked forward to meeting and helping new families in the community. Over the years, she helped to teach many young lads and lassies how to do research and find references. Teaching youngsters how to read between the lines was one of her specialties. Alice was one of the most widely read and respected people in the county when it came to understanding and promoting Shakespeare and other classic literature.

Now in her mid-70s, Alice knew that her time at the library was nearing an end, and she wanted to show her appreciation to the community by planning a celebration. As a very humble person, she didn’t want to make the party about herself or her retirement. There was one living thing in the library that was even older than Alice and clearly was now slowly dying.  Mama Jade, a potted plant, deserved to be celebrated. This icon of resilience had occupied the same spot in the reading room since before anyone could remember. Alice had watered and diligently nurtured Mama Jade since she was a teenager, and both grew up and aged together gracefully.

Over the decades, hundreds of clippings had been entrusted to families throughout the county, and Alice, being a librarian, kept copious records of every family or individual recipient. She contacted those who had received original clippings and asked these people to contact others who had received second, third, or fourth generation clippings to become part of the celebration.

On the appointed day, close to two hundred people, including the chief of police, showed up to celebrate both Mama Jade and Alice. There was food and drink for everyone, but the highlight of the celebration was Alice, with her sparkly silver scissors, standing next to Mama Jade. It was Alice’s intent to help give Mama Jade a glorious ending by systematically clipping her remaining appendages and ceremoniously offering them to onlookers. To add to the solemnity of the final act, Alice’s grandson, a twelve-year-old Boy Scout, raised his bugle and began playing Taps. Nearly everyone in the audience was deeply moved, and 98-year-old Matilda Higgins, a near deaf library patron, was in tears even though she could hardly hear the bugle.

Architect Larry and his fellow architect wife Caroline live in an historic preservation home in Newton and have led BOLLI courses on architecture.  Larry has been an active participant in and leader of the Writers Guild special interest group as well as serving on the BOLLI Journal staff. 

Once again, Larry took the Writers Guild prompt, “Gotcha!” to an unusual place.   After all, we never know, do we?

 GOTCHA

by Larry Schwirian

It was only the middle of the month, but it was the third time the man’s flight had been delayed or cancelled. As he sat at the gate, trying not to become too frustrated or aggravated, he looked around the lounge and tried to determine which of his fellow travelers might be worth engaging in conversation. There was the svelte young woman, impeccably dressed with perfect posture who was diligently working on her I-pad; probably a preppie and an MBA graduate from an Ivy League school. Then, there was the grizzled middle-aged businessman, somewhat overweight, who hadn’t shaved this morning and obviously checking her out.  Another younger college-age woman had her headphones on and her eyes closed, clearly immersed in something on her I-phone. Finally, there was an older, seemingly genteel man reading The Sum of All Fears who appeared to be so engrossed in the novel that he was oblivious to everything else.

The man picked up his carry-on bag and moved to the seat next to the older gentleman. As he sat down, he said, “If you don’t mind, I noticed that you seem to be totally absorbed by Clancy’s novel. I am also a big fan and have read all his books. I wondered if you would like to discuss the book with me.” The gentleman introduced himself as William Dingle and indicated that this was only his second Clancy novel but that he was certain he would be reading others. The man introduced himself as Hermes Papadopoulos and asked where Dingle was in the book as he didn’t want to spoil what was to come.

Before beginning a discussion of the novel, William had to ask about his inquisitor’s name. “How did you end up with a name like Hermes?”

“My father was a college professor and a Greek scholar; he named me Hermes because Homer described Hermes as the Greek god who was the chief benefactor of mortals. Hermes was also considered be very cunning and a trickster. My father always said my mother, who loved to play tricks on him, had tricked him into getting her pregnant. Speaking of names, I can see why you don’t use your nickname: Bill-ding-le.”

“You have me there, my name was a topic of much derision in my youth, so I learned to use my proper name. So, why don’t you tell me more about Jack Ryan, as I gather this is not the first Tom Clancy book in which he is the chief protagonist.”

“The Sum of All Fears is actually the sixth in a series of eleven novels featuring Jack Ryan as the protagonist and the fourth of those novels to be turned into a major motion pictures,” Hermes replied. “What is it that you find interesting about Jack Ryan?”

“He just seems to be a larger-than-life action hero who’s always in danger from someone or something; he’s smarter, more prescient, more of a man’s man than his contemporaries and seems to enjoy life to the fullest. I sometimes wonder if there are real people like him out there somewhere.”

Hermes reminded him that all Tom Clancy novels are fiction and that authors generally want their characters to be anything but boring. They continued to discuss the nuances, characters, and sub-plots of the novel for the next hour or so. Then the gate attendant picked up her microphone and requested that Tom Clancy please check in at the gate.  William craned his neck to see who would be stepping to the desk. Could it be the writer himself?

Hermes reached into his pocket, pulled out a business card, picked up William’s book, and signed it.  “Gotcha,” he whispered.  The very plain card was printed simply in large letters: Tom Clancy – Author

Architect Larry and his fellow architect wife Caroline live in an historic preservation home in Newton and, together, lead BOLLI courses on architecture.  Larry has been an active participant in  and leader of the Writers Guild special interest group as well as serving on the BOLLI Journal staff.  

THE LESSER OF TWO WEEVILS

By Larry Schwirian

Mavis and Marvin were a couple of happy-go-lucky boll weevils living in the deep South in the early 20^th Century.  At this time, boll weevils were decimating the cotton fields of practically every state in the south.  Marvin, being male, thought of himself as superior and the more destructive of the two as he had a heartier appetite, but Mavis, seemingly the lesser of the two weevils, was more discerning.  She also had a secret.

Either she happened to read the work of Swedish evolutionary biologists who discovered that female weevils live longer when mated with males bred to reproduce later in life—or she simply noticed that, the more she mated with other weevils, the more energized she felt.  And as weevils are not monogamous, she mated a lot.  Soon, Mavis started cluing-in her less observant sisters to these dynamics and became the leader of the weevil feminist movement. She set a new longevity record by living to the ripe old age of twenty-one days, outliving Marvin by more than sixty hours.

Mavis’ dedication and lust showed the citizens of Enterprise and surrounding Coffee County that they needed to diversify their crops.  It wasn’t long before they became the country’s largest producer of peanuts and, later, peanut oil.  In 1919, as a tribute to her leadership and appetite, the citizens of Enterprise, Alabama erected a statue in Mavis’ honor in the middle of town.

 Note: There really is a town in southern Alabama called Enterprise, and it does have a monument to the boll weevil. Also, Swedish evolutionary biologists really did discover that female weevils live longer when mated with males bred to reproduce later in life.

Architect Larry and his fellow architect wife Caroline live in an historic preservation home in Newton and, together, lead BOLLI courses on architecture.  Larry has been an active participant in  and leader of the Writers Guild special interest group as well as serving on the BOLLI Journal Committee.