Category Archives: WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND?

WHAT’S ON MY MIND? INSPIRATION

September 29, 2017 swurster 4 Comments

INSPIRATION

by Sue Wurster

I realize that this might come as something of a surprise, but I’m not exactly known for my athletic prowess. That lack of prowess, in fact, had much to do with my transferring from Otterbein College in Westerville, Ohio to Ohio University in Athens, Ohio at the end of my junior year. At Otterbein, I was facing a 5-term PE requirement and had already failed badminton, fencing, folk dance, bowling, skiing, horseback riding — as well as folk dance for a second time. (I had an attendance issue — getting up for an 8 or even 9 am PE course was just not my cup of energy drink.) Not only did OU have no PE requirement, but it also happened to have the top speech team in the country. I’m not really sure which was the bigger draw.

BUT — despite my virtual disdain for all things athletic, I’ve always loved tennis. Not playing it, of course. Watching it. Billie Jean won my heart in the 60s and has been there ever since. Her pioneering efforts helped women get paid their due–as athletes, as professionals, and as partners. Her strength and courage–in tennis and in life–have inspired me and countless women for fifty years.

And at 73, she’s still at it — playing some tennis, coaching some tennis, mentoring tennis players, organizing and administering tennis events, and using her influence to work, wherever possible, for social justice causes — gender equality, social inclusion, “fair play.”

So, on a balmy Saturday in August of 2016, I was happily ensconced, once again, at the Hotel Lucerne on West 79th Street in New York City. This is a favorite located in my old neighborhood. It welcomes me when I need a Broadway fix or the company of old and dear friends and can pretty much always be counted on to provide another round of the perennial NYC pastime known as “star sighting.” My old friend Susan and I had just sat down at Nice Matin located just outside the hotel door. It is one of those good neighborhood restaurants you used to be able to find all over the city. We had met for an early lunch.

I had just been introduced to Susan’s beautiful new granddaughter (whose mother I had taught) when two women walked into the small, uncrowded space. I could feel the adrenalin rushing to every corpuscle as I leaned across the table to tell Susan who had just arrived in the restaurant. And then, I froze. The hostess was leading Billie Jean and her friend to the table next to us. Right next to us. Oh, my God! My heart lurched. She’s coming this way!

And the next thing I knew, Billie Jean King was sitting on the banquette seat. Right next to me. Like, maybe, an arm’s-length away. I had never been so completely starstruck. But, I realized, so was her friend — with the baby. She oohed, aahed, cooed, and asked all the right questions about this sweet little girl. At that point, the waiter arrived.

“Are you ready to order, ladies?” he asked, his gaze sweeping all of us, as if we were a party of four. And, suddenly, we were exactly that: a party of four. Talking, laughing, sighing — as if we had known each other for twenty years and hadn’t seen each other for ten.

I had been one of Billie Jean’s most loyal fans for fifty years. But now, I found myself looking at her in a completely different way. What a warm, gracious, totally accessible woman–who seems to actually enjoy meeting her fans. Well, actually, she seems to just enjoy meeting and talking to people in general–of all stripes. She is genuinely interested in others and what they do, think, and feel. She’s just…well, totally down to earth–real. And a lot of fun.

The time came for me to get myself moving toward the matinee I was to see, but while I didn’t want this time to end, departing gave me the opportunity to say something I’d always wanted to say to my idol who has done so much for so many–just “Thank you.”

“Want a picture?” she asked. Oh, be still my beating heart…

So, when I heard that a new movie was coming out about Billie Jean in her legendary Battle of the Sexes match with that obnoxious little troll, Bobby Riggs, I headed for the internet to figure out when it would be coming to a theatre near me–so I could be first in line for my discounted senior ticket. (Oh, I’m sorry. I guess my comment about Riggs could be considered disrespectful…sorry, trolls.) No movie can possibly do justice to either that event or Billie Jean herself. But I’m applauding–for all that she has done and continues to do for sports, for women, and social justice.

Okay, Billie Jean, if you can say that it was your respect for Riggs that led to your being able to beat him, I guess I can “go high” myself. Sorry, Bobby.

Click on this green phrase for Billie Jean’s Ted Talk–and enjoy!

Sue has enjoyed collecting and sharing BOLLI Matters for the past two years and hopes that BOLLI readers are finding our items to be both interesting and entertaining.

Let us know what you think!

BOLLI Special Interest Groups, BOLLI Writers, WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

WHAT’S ON MY MIND? LOST & FOUND by Steve Goldfinger

August 25, 2017 swurster 1 Comment

Our Writers’ Guild prompt for this week was this “Keep Calm and Look in Lost & Found” image. As always, some chose to use the prompt while others did not. We all thoroughly enjoyed Steve Goldfinger’s approach, and we felt that many BOLLI members might be able to relate!

LOST & FOUND

By Steve Goldfinger

For a moment, my wandering brain lost the prompt, but now I remember. Ah, yes. “Lost and Found.”

Well, it’s easy to lose things. Car keys, cell phones, shopping lists, hearing aids. Names of people whose faces are imprinted in my skull, faces of people whose names are as secure in my mind as swallows in cliff dwellings.

I cannot find the treasured score card that documented the best round of golf I ever played. I was 21 year old, knew I would never have so low a score again, and promised I would keep it to show my grandchildren. But where is it now? Hiding somewhere in my attic or moldering at the bottom of some forsaken garbage dump?

When I lost my virginity, I knew I had also found something. But when I lost my wallet yesterday, the only thing I found was an empty back pocket. My only consolation was that my credit card was not longer in it. Once again, the piece of plastic was undoubtedly sitting next to the cash register of the last restaurant I ate at. Again, I neglected to retrieve it after I signed the check. Damn it. I want it back. Now, what was the name of that restaurant?

After driving to the MFA to see the new exhibit that so excited me when I read the review in The Globe, I forgot which one it was. When a large sign reminded me and told me where it was, I had to ask a guard to direct me to the stairway I had marched to directly so many times in the past. It was a great exhibit…fine paintings and etchings by…oh, shit!

And what have I found?

Perhaps a new internal tempo that allows me to drive more slowly, aware as I am that, in front of me, the lane seems to have narrowed, and too many dents and scrapes have appeared on my car.

Or the magic of the remote, being able to put a ball game on a 40 minute delay so I can then zip through the commercials to get to the action.

Or the ability to justify my lifestyle–couch potato, bacon and eggs, steaks, morning croissants, and evening ice cream–by “Hey, I’m 82 and just back from Alaska where I survived a strenuous hike. Good genes. Thanks, Mom and Dad.”

Or how easy it has been to depart from the world of medicine. A satisfying six decades, but in the end, too many directives separating me from patients, too many memory lapses, too many teaching moments falling short of my expectations, threatening my pride.

Or my ability to respond to writing prompts in perhaps a better way than I have responded to social ones over the years.

Since joining BOLLI nearly two years ago, Steve has been exploring new ventures. He has been active in both the Writers Guild and CAST (Creativity in Acting, Storytelling, and Theatre).

Interested in joining either one yourself? During the fall term, the Guild will meet on Wednesday mornings from 9:45-11. And CAST will meet on Fridays from 12:30-2. All are welcome!

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

WHAT’S ON MY MIND? ERMA BOMBECK

August 4, 2017 swurster 3 Comments

Recently, our Writers Guild prompt consisted of a line from Erma Bombeck about house guests. I made one false start after another on the house guest theme and finally gave up. Eventually, I realized that what I really wanted to write about was Bombeck herself. So, this is what I ended up with–and I thought that some of you might be able to relate.

ERMA BOMBECK: CHOICE WORDS

When LBJ was signing the Civil Rights Act in Washington in 1964, Erma Bombeck was signing a contract with the Kettering-Oakwood Times to write two columns per week for a sum of $3 each. Five years later, in 1969, that column, “At Wit’s End,” was being nationally syndicated, appearing in over 900 newspapers across the country and lifting the spirits of suburban moms everywhere.

But in 1969, we suburban kids mostly didn’t get Bombeck’s “homespun” wit. At breakfast, Mom would turn to Erma’s column in Cleveland’s Plain Dealer and chuckle over whatever the humorist was skewering that day—carpooling, one drive-through-something or another, meat loaf. Reading bits and pieces aloud, Mom would attach her current favorite to the refrigerator door, and we would provide obligatory smiles in response. For us, though, lost socks, dirty ovens, and teenage zombies drifting through the house opening cabinets and never closing them just weren’t particularly funny. Didn’t cabinets, after all, just close themselves?

I guess we didn’t really think all that much about how our parents spent their days. Our dads mostly “went to the office,” but what they did there, if we thought about it at all, was something of a mystery. Our moms mostly stayed home and took care of the house. (Apparently, in those days, even Erma’s kids didn’t really quite get it. When he was asked what his mother did, her young son Matt indicated with a clueless sort of grimace, that “she’s a syndicated communist.”)

In the 60s and 70s, it just didn’t seem to occur to most of us kids that our moms might have found their seemingly perfect, Leave-it-to-Beaver style suburbans lives to be boring or, worse, depressing. But Bombeck knew that life welll—and she was able to find humor in all of it. In The Grass is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank, for example, she wrote about “Loneliness,” saying: “No one talked about it much, but everyone knew what it was. It was when you alphabetized the spices on your spice rack and talked to your plants, who fell asleep on you. It was a condition, and it came with the territory.”

It was territory that Erma, my mom, and my friends’ moms knew all too well. It consisted of their homes, their appliances, their husbands, children, neighbors, and friends…their lives. Motherhood in suburban America. Fertile ground for humor with an edge.

By 1978, Erma Bombeck’s unique ability to find humor in what so many of us thought of as simply trivial or mundane, if we thought about it at all, had taken her from earning $3 per column to garnering million-dollar book advances. Every single one of her fifteen books was an instant best-seller.

So, it came as something of a surprise to me when Bombeck said that the initial inspiration for her column had come from none other than the early feminist Betty Friedan. As the story goes, in the 50s, Bombeck heard Friedan give a speech about the dull and dreary chaos of the life that women like Erma and her friends were leading. Bombeck said that she kept waiting for the story to shift into humor and was horrified when it didn’t. What Friedan had detailed, Bombeck said, “just had to be funny. Without humor, after all, how could it be endured?”

In 1969, my friends and I were protesting an ugly war and watching television news reports of civil unrest in our cities. We were too busy to give a Dayton, Ohio housewife any more attention than the obligatory smiles we managed when our moms read us bits and pieces from her columns or attached them to our refrigerator doors.

But now, it’s time for us now Medicare card carrying kids to give her credit for the role she played in the women’s movement. She was a champion of women’s rights, working tirelessly for the passing of the ultimately doomed Equal Rights Amendment. But her greatest form of feminist activism was her humor. By providing women like my mom the opportunity to laugh at the details of suburban family life in the 60s and 70s—including the boredom, loneliness, and depression that came with it for many—she showed them that they were not alone. In so doing, she helped a generation of women discover that they had choices—and not just when it came to floor wax or what to pack for their kids’ lunches.

I think we owe Erma significantly more than an obligatory smile. And what might be the most fitting of tributes for her? A permanent spot on the refrigerator door.

Like the late Bombeck, Sue is an Ohio native–whose respect for good humor runs deep…

From the Editors, WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

A TRUE AMERICAN HERO…

July 29, 2017 swurster 3 Comments

A TRUE AMERICAN HERO: JOHN McCAIN

Thoughts from Editors Lydia Bogar & Sue Wurster

You don’t have to be a member of the Grand Old Party to care about Senator John McCain. Certainly, we East Coast Liberals do not tend to be among his constituents or his friends, and yet, we are saddened and fearful whenever a notable member of our generation is given a cancer diagnosis.

Senator McCain returned to Congress on Monday, bruised from surgery for glioblastoma, one of the most malignant of brain tumors. This past week, hundreds of Americans were united in their response to a New York Times Op-Ed piece by Jessica Morris who has lived with glioblastoma for the past 18 months. While hiking in upstate New York, she had a seizure. Within days, she went through surgery and was given that dreadful diagnosis. She hopes that reasons for optimism come to fruition—not only for herself but also for Senator McCain, and in memory of both Ted Kennedy and Beau Biden. Her inspiring blog can be accessed by going to: https://jessicamorrisnyc.wordpress.com/about/

When Senator McCain returned to the floor in Washington this week, he generally spoke clearly, with little hesitation. Yes, at first, he voted the party line on the vote to open debate on the Republicans’ health care bill, but he also drew a line in the sand, “Let’s trust each other,” he said. “We’re getting nothing done, my friends.” He voted to extend the conversation. Then, when it came to the most crucial vote on the “skinny repeal,” he put party politics aside and voted his conscience–for the American people.

So we want to thank this real American hero for all of his service to our country–in the military, in war, and in the halls of government. We want, in fact, to see him continue to serve–as the conscience of his party, the party of Abraham Lincoln. Perhaps the party will continue to unravel before our eyes—but that just might make it possible for the real conversations to begin.

Thank you, John McCain. Here’s hoping you will continue to kick butt–on both sides of the aisle–as we all move forward!

BOLLI Members, WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

WOMEN WARRIORS by Liz David

April 12, 2017 swurster Leave a comment

WOMEN WARRIORS

by Liz David

The soil of the feminine soul runs rich and deep,

Watered by undercurrents invisible to those dwelling only on the surface,

Women who face the challenge of the softening of their soul soil,

Who allow themselves to become vulnerable,

Who invite the surface streams down into their depths,

Who expose their roots to the fructifying moisture from above and below.

They are the warriors of today – the catalysts of transformation.

They risk death of psyche, body, and soul

in order to experience fully the transforming powers present

in the domains of their deepest fears.

They emerge as does the phoenix —

Motivated, activated, determined to find the courage to create their lives,

To choose to live as individuals committed to self-awareness,

Self-centered women, centered in themselves,

Committed to voicing and acting upon their ideals in the world–

A world that does not ask for change, to be turned inside out,

A world that silently and loudly cries for nurturance, for sustenance,

A world that cries for those beings with the strength of heart and the will

to carry out the tasks of transformation.

They are the Women Warriors.

Of Potential Interest, WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

RETIRED–BUT NOT FROM LIFE: By Eleanor Jaffe

March 24, 2017 swurster Leave a comment

Dear BOLLI Friends,

I write to you from Florida, the state where a lot of people have moved when they retire. Why not? After all, the Gulf of Mexico and Sarasota Bay are beautiful, the weather is terrific, and here in Sarasota, cultural pleasures are sophisticated and plentiful. Even life-long learning programs abound. The easy path is for retirees to sit back, read the papers, watch TV news, critique the world from their armchairs, and then share those critiques only with those whose politics agree with their own. After all, retirement has its rewards, and some might believe that inaction and armchair “jawing” are among them.

A certain caution is discernible here in Florida when people meet one another for the first time. Is it “safe” to discuss politics? (And what other subject is so front and center these days?) We don’t, after all, want to offend and argue. Who among these strangers voted for Trump and who voted for Hillary? Who didn’t vote at all? Who watches with complacency and agreement as liberal institutions in government and in society are attacked and dismantled? Communication across the great political divide not only grows more limited but is increasingly full of disbelief and rage. What are we to do with our passionately held beliefs and accompanying angst?

My beliefs and personality dictate action, constructive action. The question for me is, what kinds of action will be the most constructive? In other words, what will help to defang our present administration and re-establish a more liberal democracy that reflects our values as a welcoming, fair minded, constructive, and positive force in the world—- a Marshall Plan kind of world. Of course, some of you who read this will not agree with me, and so, I urge you to respond. Let’s communicate!

Two events that I attended here were heartening. The first was the Women’s March in January. Here in Sarasota, police estimated that 10,000 people marched! We women and men carried signs, wore pink hats, and shouted slogans as we marched along the beautiful Marina Bay and across the bridge connecting Sarasota to Bird Key. It was peaceful, and it was wonderful to be among so many like minded demonstrators. Clearly, they were not “retired” from politics and life.

This past Saturday (3/18), we attended a “town hall” where the local Congressman, Representative Vern Buchanan, held his 75th meeting of constituents since taking office five terms earlier. The Sarasota Herald Tribune said that this 75th town hall meeting (attended by more than 1,300 who packed Van Wezel Auditorium and an estimated additional 800 who couldn’t fit into the room) was unlike all his previous town hall meetings and would not soon be forgotten. We have seen television news reports of other town meetings with Republican congressional representatives and senators—full of people with strong opinions becoming raucous, erupting in chants, and even booing. That’s what this meeting was like. Retirees do not want their health benefits messed with, want veterans and people with disabilities cared for, want fair immigration policies, and more. And this meeting occurred in Florida, a state that voted for Trump.

We have been away from Massachusetts now for three months. I read The New York Times and watch MSNBC, which, of course, indicates the nature of my own political bent. I admit that I am not current with politics in Massachusetts where our citizens are overwhelmingly “democratic” and liberal, despite having a Republican Governor, Perhaps you don’t feel the need to watch your words or wonder who supported whom in the election. Perhaps you haven’t felt the need to become an activist, armchair or otherwise. Some of my friends, including BOLLI friends, are becoming active and have been eager to tell me about their involvement in church and immigration groups, grandmothers’ groups, civil liberties groups, and more.

I wonder if it is time to create a BOLLI clearinghouse for organizations and actions in this perilous time for democracy, a place where actions and activism can be discussed, and information shared. I know that beliefs and actions supported by like-minded others are more likely to be effective and succeed. Perhaps in my absence from BOLLI, a group has been formed and is already active? If so, count me in. If not, let’s do it!

See you soon around our BOLLI “campus.”

Your snow-bird friend,

Eleanor Jaffe

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

A PATRIOT FOR THE BOOKS: MALCOLM MITCHELL

February 17, 2017 swurster Leave a comment

A PATRIOT FOR THE BOOKS: MALCOLM MITCHELL

by Sue Wurster

I’m sorry. I’m just not all that into football. I come from solid, Cleveland area, die-hard Browns fans, and maybe that, in itself, explains my lack of interest. The Browns just never seemed to me to be a particularly stellar bunch. And then, of course, Cleveland was plunged into the depths of a dense, dark, clinically critical depression over what it still rancorously refers to as “The Move” (complete with shudder) – when Art Modell fired coach Bill Belichick and tried to move the team to Baltimore. (The Ravens are still considered by said die-hards to be “an extension” team. Like some sort of sports off-ramp.)

So, when Super Bowl season rolls around, I find it easy to ignore the hype. This year, though, the weeks of build-up to the whole thing was thrust into my face when coverage of how it was all going to go down was everywhere. It eventually supplanted one too many Jeopardy airings, and I shifted to PBS, exclusively, for the news.

And yet, this isn’t even what really got me—and continues to get me. I thought that, after the Patriots won and came home to a big parade and waved that big trophy around and flashed the rings, it would finally be over. But the whole thing just keeps dragging on. Last night, on the news, there was an item about people getting Patriots logo and/or Tom Brady (TB12) tattoos to commemorate the whole thing. (They actually even showed a guy having one done on his bum…) Really? This is news?

BUT I found a bright spot in the midst of all this hoopla–Malcolm Mitchell. This young man, in my humble opinion, is one Patriot who deserves even more attention.

Mitchell grew up in Georgia where he played football for Valdosta High School and, early on, caught the eye of a scout from the University of Georgia. He also caught the attention of VHS principal Gary Boling who helped the young athlete prepare for college by encouraging him to take on a more challenging course load and to explore his options for his college course of study. Mitchell says that Boling changed his life—but the principal wasn’t the only source of inspiration and help that set him on a unique path.

Malcolm says that, when he arrived in Athens and the University of Georgia campus, he was not a confident reader. So, he decided to focus on building his strength—by reading as much as he could. At one point, while in an Athens bookstore, Mitchell apparently asked a fellow customer for a book recommendation. Kathy Rackley was happy to provide suggestions and indicated that she was picking up a copy of Me Before You, her book club’s choice for their next meeting. They talked, and, soon, Mitchell left the store with a copy of the book—and an invitation to join the group at their next meeting, which he did.

It didn’t seem to matter to Mitchell that the group consisted of middle-aged women with whom he had little in common. The women were welcoming, and the books took him to new worlds and pushed him to think about new ideas. (Besides, in the club, there were no papers or exams. No wrong answers.) “The book club helped me grow into a better individual,” he said in a Boston Globe profile in last May, “a person who learns and grows throughout life in general,” he said.

He has certainly continued to learn and grow ever since. In fact, his love of reading led him to launching a program to promote youth literacy and book ownership among students in underserved schools. The program, Read with Malcolm is part of the Share the Magic Foundation and has expanded exponentially over the years. He has also written a children’s book, The Magician’s Hat, about a boy who discovers the magic of reading.

Georgia school children “Read with Malcolm”

It is exciting to see this young man experiencing success on the field, but seeing him focused on helping kids the way that principal and those women in the Silverleaf book club helped him. Now, THAT’s just “super.”

To find out more about the Read with Malcolm program, click here.

For the May 23, 2016 Boston Globe article about Malcolm Mitchell, click here.

When I was about 7 or 8 years old, my father brought an old Remington typewriter home from a yard sale or auction and set it atop the desk he had recently refinished for me (which sits in my front hall now). My very own typewriter. The result? The laboriously typed (with carbon paper) Maple Street Gazette which informed the neighbors of such riveting events as the Harrisons’ new puppies, the Lanagans’ new patio, who dressed up as what at Halloween, and more. Every issue was sold out (at a whopping five cents per copy). I guess it’s in the blood…

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

WHAT’S ON YOUR MIND? Signs of the Times

January 26, 2017 swurster Leave a comment

SIGNS OF THE TIMES

By Lydia Bogar

Here we are at Logan Airport on this not-so-quiet weekend morning. Hundreds of women, some with daughters, some with mothers, some with both, some with strollers, and even some with husbands. This first taste of our strength is powerful but not intimidating. It is, in fact, heartwarming.

As newbies to National Airport, we walk through the baggage claim area and a construction zone to reach the Metro station which looks, strangely, like an egg carton. Emerging at Foggy Bottom, we see a mass of signs. Hundreds of signs.

WHICH SIDE ARE YOU ON?

We walk forward. Democrats and Republicans–black, brown, red, white and grey–faith in our hearts.

FIGHT BACK!

Music surrounds us–old folk songs that I know, some gospel that I learn along the way, songs of protest, songs of hope. Walking from the Ellipse, past Treasury and Commerce. The Washington Monument over our shoulders. We can no longer see the Potomac or the magnificent Lincoln Memorial.

KEEP HOPE ALIVE!

“He has to go,” people chant. Whether it is in song, chant, or cheer, we draw strength, courage, and pride from this community of united voices.

All around us, marchers take pictures. Of everyone. Of each other. Of us. Some have camera trouble and ask us to “Take one for me?”

Under an enormous oak on the Mall, I meet a woman I worked with in 1984. Joy spreads through our hearts and across our faces as we recognize each other. A blessing in this sea of faces and signs. Time stands still for five minutes.

WOMEN ARE ANGRY– NATIVE WOMEN, WOMEN IN UNIFORM, RURAL WOMEN…

As we walk back to the Metro, we stop at the Smithsonian Castle to use the bathrooms. Men and women hold doors open for each other, deposit pockets full of trash in barrels set up by the National Park Service, and wish each other a safe trip home. A lady from Arizona doesn’t seem to mind that she will miss her flight. “There will be another,” she smiles.

Our courage and determination have been energized by the men and women around us. We feel blessed by the challenges and friends that this day has given us. We talk about the friends and family we will educate when we get home. We aren’t even tired. Our hearts are strong, and our feet are focused on the path ahead. The date is April 5, 1992.

Twenty-five years later, marching again, we are surround by signs again. Hundreds of signs.

WE WON’T GO BACK!

Former English teacher and health care professional, Lydia Bogar says she’s still not used to this retirement thing. She joined BOLLI in the spring of 2016 after returning home from a stint in South Carolina where she dipped into another OLLI program.

A blog devoted to the interests of BOLLI members and potential members